Why Do Men Behave Badly?

Let’s start by making clear that this title is merely a reflection of current stories in the press, it’s a way of capturing your attention and a touch ironic; it might more accurately be titled “why do humans behave badly?” The answer, it turns out, is quite simple, and is relevant to all walks of life; work, school and home, anywhere humans interact with each other!

There is one root cause of ‘bad’ behaviour, but first let’s be clear about the definition of ‘bad’ – any behaviour which doesn’t stem from a place of love and understanding, so that includes any behaviour stemming from a place of psychological pain such as jealousy, hatred, superiority, inferiority, suspicion, to name but a few. A psychologically healthy person wouldn’t consider demeaning, groping or dominating others as acceptable behaviour, in any situation with or without alcohol and a surfeit of hormones.

The root cause of ‘bad’ behaviour and its subsequent impact on mental wellbeing is a deep misunderstanding of how our psychological system works. There is no purpose here in attaching blame to those caught up in this misunderstanding, the traditional but erroneous teachings of how life works, leads to the belief that external circumstances can be directly responsible for how we feel and therefore how we act. The ego (false sense of self) then seeks to protect itself from any form of pain and subsequently to place the blame on something other than itself. Imagine for a moment a scenario where a ‘normally, well respected’ business man attends a charity, men only dinner. Without understanding the dangers of this false ego, there is a real risk that a sense of entitlement or a desire not to stand out from the crowd will rise to the surface and dominate the thoughts of this otherwise ‘respectable’ man leading to the ‘bad’ behaviour.

This type of psychological pain can rear its head in any situation, irrespective of gender, age, religious beliefs, professional position or background. The newspapers are full of stories, which have psychological pain at their source. Workplaces are littered with examples of the misunderstanding of the principles of psychological wellbeing, which in turn leads to lower productivity and less effective leadership. A whole industry of self-help and personal development is similarly based on addressing this pain, itself only the result of this misunderstanding.

Now let’s return to the positive solution (noted earlier) to a fear dominated society, where psychological pain appears to be growing more prevalent. We only have to see a growing number of children suffering from stress and poor mental health to know that this situation cannot continue unchecked. The great news is that with the appropriate understanding of how the process of life actually works we can completely turn the situation around quickly and easily. Schools can become seedbeds of healthy adults, workplaces can be places where people flourish, communities can be places where everyone respects and cares for each other. …And the answer is love; love and understanding that comes from deeply knowing that the ego is a false ‘icon’, that 100% of our experience comes from the inside out and never from our circumstances, that our thinking in the moment is responsible for everything that we feel, and that at our core (true self) “all we are is peace, love and wisdom, and the power to create the illusion that we are not (Jack Pransky).”

At Powerful Performance we run open retreats and in-Company programmes to share the understanding of the 3 Principles behind our psychological experience https://powerfulperformance.wordpress.com/events/


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